January 2010
Fast Food
Employees at McDonald’s are always a miserable lot.
Employee in McDonalds’s commercials look as though they are having the greatest day of their lives.
This is because they aren’t actually working at McDonald’s.
Home →
Now these are some enterprising fellows. I think this may almost be worth quitting my day job to pursue.
“He’s not stupid-stupid, he’s smart-stupid.”
Backpack
Got a new backpack today. Osprey Atmos 50. Its awesome. And almost exactly like my other Osprey Atmos 50 only Large and red. I can already think of a million things I would like to avoid by using that pack.
December 2009
Lemon water is not food. Neither are flavored...
erinmargrethe:
I’ve been lazing on the beach with my girlfriends here in South Australia, flicking through tons of fashion and gossip magazines, reading all of that kind of bullshit diet/detox advice out loud to each other and laughing at it while we graze on fudge, lobster and champagne. We all have New Year’s resolutions to hit the gym more, but even our gym resolutions are mellow - walk to...
Answering Machine
I miss my answering machine. It made it easier to avoid people I didn’t want to talk to.
‘Hey did you get my voice mail?’
‘No man, you know my stupid machine ate the tape.’
‘What do you mean your machine ate the tape? Cell phones don’t have tapes’
sigh
‘Yes I got your message but you’re an incredible bore and I can’t stand...
Sunny California
I hate fog.
I want Mike Rowe to narrate my life
ianbrooks:
3barr:
(via ianbrooks)
or Sean Connery (especially if he’s drunk and surly).
I guess I would also settle for Morgan Freeman
Get busy livin’ or get busy dyin’
I want Mike Rowe to narrate my life
(via ianbrooks)
or Sean Connery (especially if he’s drunk and surly).
1 tag
““UGG boots and fake Juicy pants can only open the door; it takes a...”
– hotdogsladies
Murray
If my life were a Wes Anderson movie, I would like to be Whatever character Bill Murray was playing.
Backpacker Magazine - Survival Skills: Start a... →
You never know when you may need it…
Dear wimps (a rant)
ianbrooks:
3barr:
Please allow me an alternate viewpoint for a moment.
I see a crappy movie that doesn’t need to be made and its only reason for existence is to line the pockets of investors. To these people I say ‘Good for you’. Now as far as little Miss Irwin’s involvement in the film, she is there only because of who her father was and the fact that he is now no longer with us. I find...
Hugs
addendum
Dear ripsteveir
If you’re not familiar with an Atomic Flinch, please try to hug me.
Dear wimps (a rant)
When I make social commentary on Twitter about something I find to be displeasing I don’t need you to try to win me over or make me feel guilty.
For Example:
Today I took my daughter to the movies and a preview came on for a Free Willy Movie with Bindi Irwin in the lead role. I tweeted that Free Willy remakes staring Bindi Irwin were a sign of the apocolypse. Later I received a direct...
Christmas Eve
These time of year is not typically the most joyful for me. Being a UPS employee this time of year is not about joy and goodwill. For me it’s typically about months of planning, listening to people complain about everything under the sun, fighting with fog and snow and finally missing Christmas Eve with my wife and children.
I put the hammer down tonight and rushed my people to get done...
“When visiting x’s family it was like attending a funeral in which half the...”
– Reading old journal entries from the holiday season.
boobs. boobs. boobs.
erinmargrethe:
xntrek:
Just once, can we have something else?
Bums. I like bums.
Or the side of the neck as it merges into the shoulder.
Or the small of the back.
Or bums.
Ears can be good.
Eyes. I Lurve eyes.
Stomachs.I like stomachs.
Or, you know … bums.
I like hipbones. Or as I call them, handlebars.
I’ll take the waist, between hip and rib. Hot sauce.
Theme
Channel surfing tonight I’ve seen, From Dusk Til Dawn, Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill volumes 1 and 2 and Sukiyaki Western Django. When I realize a theme in movies I wonder if someone died. Sometimes the thought of that person dying makes me sad. Most of the time I’m relieved.
“They look like psychos? Is that what they look like? They were vampires. ...”
– From Dusk Till Dawn
“There was a dead dog on the freeway wearing a sweater”
– As texted by my wife on her way to Dana Point
ThinkGeek :: Tauntaun Sleeping Bag →
If anyone hasn’t decided what to get me for Christmas….here ya’ go.
This just reeks of class. No issues here. →
Power to the People →
Peak
It’s been a frantic afternoon but in the way thats fun instead of the “I want to kill everyone I see kind of way”
Readers by Author « Book Nerding →
Erin sent this to me. The truth is painful but if you can’t laugh at yourself you may as well laugh at everyone else.
2 tags
sniff
Your own never smell as bad as everyone else’s.
Homemade Brownies →
I have to say one of my favorite things about Alton Brown is that he has taught things like this are ridiculous. But I have to admit I get the momentary “How freakin’ cool is that! I want it I want it I want it.” Then sanity kicks in.
My Saturday Haiku
Outside the Rain Falls
Mr. T sells Flavor Wave
I am accomplished
2 tags
European
I enter the office after having used the restroom.
Question: How do you spell ‘european’
My response: why oh you apostrophe are e A pee e e eye in
Nobody laughed.
I wrote it on the whiteboard.
They still looked perplexed.
I think my job would be better if I didn’t have to interact with people.
Yes, this is a giant part of my life. →
Dear Mr.President
Dear Mr. Obama,
Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad the bailouts to the banks ended up being $200 billion cheaper but don’t insult me by saying the money we saved there is going to possibly go to reducing the deficit.
If you need help understanding that when you don’t borrow money you can’t call that saving money. If you don’t borrow you don’t have to make...
Couldn't agree more... →
elleai:
